What is sleep anyways?

Going on day 3 of little to no sleep. I think I might be going crazy. I have solved many of the worlds problems but then I forget. Oh well! Briar is sick, coughing all night. We have a regimen (saline, humidifier, inhalers, nasal suction, mattress elevated) but it does nothing!!!!! Those extra exclamation mark are for my frustration. We are considering taking her to the doctor today but what will she do, prescribe MORE meds or admit us to the hospital... lose/lose in my eyes. By the way, incase you thought this was a theoretical explanation of sleep, it's more of a rant! So it's almost time for me to go to work. Briar has missed pretty much this entire month at daycare due to illness, and my bill keeps racking up!! I need a break from either illness or her. The thing is, I only feel this way when I am totally drained. I can't get refreshed because she is sick, if she goes to hospital (the break) I am there with her and still up all night!!! Come on, when does this end, we're talking a month of illness. I know what the problem is, I get this terrible anxiety that we are going to go to the hospital and have to stay, just like when she was born, for months. I hate it there. It smells too clean and everyone is fake nice. They always seem to pity you. I hate that.

Bye

Snowday

So it's been a few weeks I think since out last post. Not that that is too long, but with so many changes, I thought the people should be told :)

Briar had her GJ tube placement on November 30, 2010 at 2:30 pm (scheduled for 11!!!) The GI nurse was nice enough to tell us they were actually cancelling our surgery that day but because we had already left when they called, the nurse pushed it through and said "You have to do it!" I was upset but also happy, I mean they got it done, but it would have been nice to know why we were waiting for 3 1/2 hours without any explanation!! So everything went well. The called us into recovery at 3:30 pm and I stayed until 6:00 pm.... we tried everything to wake her LOL I also tried to explain to the recovery nurses but they know best, so I let them have their fun. The put a wet cloth on her face and all over her body, we did physio exercises, they out a freezie under her armpit :) we sang to her, called her name, tickled her and so on. Eventually the nurse told me to go grab some dinner, when I returned she was awake!! We were moved to our monitored room (there were three other kiddos, one being a teeny, tiny baby!!) She had a great night, but I still hate being away from her and having strangers take care of her. I called at 6 am to see if they had started her feeds at 2:30 like they were supposed to but she didn't have a gurgling tummy so no feeds. We were going on 38 hours with no food and she still wasn't hungry!! What a kid :) anyways she was able to start her feed at 9:00 am after the docs saw her. We were moved into a private room with a little pushing from me so I could have 24 sleepovers. I do love a good sleepover and we learned the whole kanye album!! Briar did really well and we were able to increase her feeds fairly quickly. However when we got to 35 mls an hour, she would vomit "coffee grinds" aka stomach fluids. It was pretty nasty. We were sent back to imaging (hot Australian doctor too) incase of the placement being off, but everything was fine. Instead the head doctor actually listened to me and allowed us to slow the dieticians plans and increase more slowly. He also said we could start solids right away and give her her laxative again (that was interesting) She is so amazing. As I finish this post weeks later, Briar is sick and just got out of the hospital for pneumonia a week ago. She is so incredibly awesome and so are all the other amazing children in my life.

We are so lucky to be parents, don't take it for granted, not for one second.